“I was wondering if you can ask the wonderful ladies to help me with my problem. My son has a tendency to lie. He will insist whatever he is saying is true, even when he is caught in his lie. Help!”

PK, Monroe NY

“Tell the child: you’re not a liar | trust you! and when he says the truth tell him ‘wow you’re such an honest person!’ And tell him from time to time stories of other kids who lied and had no friends and everyone looked down at them.. and stories from honest kids how amazing they are!”

“Catching a child lying red
handed makes the child want to
cover up even more. The child has a fear, obviously. Give the child comfort and security. Ignore the lying. Children learn by role modeling. The more we preach the less they listen! True fact! He will not grow up a liar if his parents are truly honest people. “

“Friends! He needs friends!! Parents can give kids only a certain amount of confidence. He needs to feel good about himself at school. Is there something going on? The teachers need to be involved to raise his confidence, too, and also to make sure that they make him feel good in school so that he wants to go. and classmates.. maybe set up play dates so he can build better friendships?”

“Really don’t have an answer but I just want to say that not everything kids do wrong is the parents fault. And that the person asking should really internalize that. Everyone has comments that the kid is insecure and is scared to tell the truth and it all boils down to the mother or father. Sometimes a kid just has a bad middah he was born with and it needs to be worked on. Not fair to always blame everything on the
parents!!!”

“Just one thing- It’s actually huge! Don’t call him a liar. Tell him ‘you said a lie’ and not ‘you are a liar’. Labeling a child can get really tricky. Best of luck!”

“First of all, it means the kid is
intelligent – people who don’t have a solid grasp on the way things work and the way people work can not lie. Recognize this is a sign of how awesome the kid is. Besides for that, if he is using lying to get what he wants, it will be kind of hard to stop – because kids like getting what they want. And just don’t make a big deal out of it – or always try to find the truth. Trust him. Even when he is lying he should think you trust him. It is kinda one of those things that they will realize is wrong and then stop – if they are not harming people in the way. Otherwise- therapy.”

“Is it possible that for some reason he doesn’t feel safe telling the truth? It doesn’t have to be current; it’s possible that it’s some past thing. But that usually is the case.”

“True chinuch is
NOT TO PRESSURE your child to behave properly..
rather; it is to motivate him
to WANT to behave properly!”

This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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